Your country is more dangerous than our country...nah nah nah!
The US State Department updated its travel advisories last week. The good news for the US, which has been undergoing a somewhat humiliating and unexpected role as a pariah state due to the uncontrolled outbreaks of COVID-19, is that there is now a small dribble of places willing to open their borders to arrivals. The eclectic collection of countries open to visitors from the US includes many Caribbean countries willing to take the risk of exchanging tourism dollars for COVID-19 infections. The countries of the EU are not included, but the Brexit-bound UK is - with reservations - and includes a mandatory two-week self-isolation requirement.
The additional interesting part of each country's travel warning to its citizens about visiting the other is couched in the paragraphs following the COVID-19 advisories on their respective websites. US citizens visiting Britain are also warned:
Terrorist groups "continue plotting possible attacks" in the UK.
US visitors are warned about going to: tourist locations, transportation hubs, markets/shopping malls, hotels, clubs, restaurants, places of worship, parks, sporting and cultural events, educational institutions, airports and other public areas.
There is also a risk of isolated violence by dissident groups in Northern Ireland.
Phew! Once you've spent your mandatory two weeks, you might feel inclined to stay in self-isolation.
One has to assume therefore, that the copywriters at GOV.UK, the UK Government's travel advisory website caught one look at this list, took umbrage and decided that not only was a tit-for-tat called for, but escalation was in the wind. So, in the warning communicated to its own hapless residents considering venturing westwards towards the United States:
First up is a subtle dig at the recently reversed ban on foreign students who will no longer "be forced to leave the USA if their courses moved to fully online". UK students are however advised to speak to their college administrators to "clarify" their status ahead of the new academic year. Given that US colleges are currently struggling to give any coherent guidance to any of their enrolled students, domestic or international, we wish you best of luck!
I see your terrorist alert and we offer one of our own: "Terrorists are very likely to try to carry out attacks in the USA. Attacks could be indiscriminate, including in places visited by foreigners". Interesting use of the word "foreigners" here and an absence of a lengthy list of specific places to avoid.
But wait; "There have been widespread protests across the USA since 27 May 2020, some of which have turned violent. Curfews have been enforced in many cities as a result. There is potential for further protests and curfews". It seems we both have terrorists, but you have social unrest. So, while they're on the subject...
"You should be alert to the dangers of car and street crime".
What else, muses the GOV.UK writer to herself? Being British, her mind turns to the weather. We should add their big weather to our warnings, she thinks: "The Atlantic hurricane season normally runs from 1 June to 30 November. The Pacific hurricane season runs from 15 May to 30 November". There it is. No need for elaboration. Hurricanes.
Oh, and: "Forest and brush fires (wildfires) are a danger in many dry areas".
What about if they are traveling in the winter, she thinks? : "Snow storms during winter can cause delays and cancellations throughout the major airline hubs in the USA".
That should do it. If the COVID, the student barring, the necessity for visas, the now limited number of airports accepting Brits, the terrorism, the civic unrest, rioting and the street crime doesn't put you off, the weather should do the trick.
You've got to wonder how the US Dept of State is going to respond once they realize that this is turning into a pie throwing contest? I foresee some additional warnings being added to put off the potential for US tourists making the trek to the old country:
"Be aware that Britain suffers from occasional heatwaves (not related to global warming, which is, by the way, a HOAX) and THERE IS NO AIR CONDITIONING ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY". (Note that the escalation has now taken on a Trumpian capitalization element).
Related: "In case of dehydration or heat exhaustion, DO NOT expect any ice in your drinks - there is apparently an unwritten limit of one cube per customer in the UK".
"The United Kingdom is currently in the process of withdrawing itself from Europe (yes, that is rather like Ohio deciding to secede from the Union) and, as a result, appears unsure about any rules regarding travel, currency exchange, jobs, transportation, food regulations, units of temperature and measurement and a host of other issues. While this might appear on the surface to favor a stronger relationship between the UK and the US, please bear in mind that 68% of Brits disapprove of our glorious leader, so perhaps not".
And how will our copywriter at the UK Government respond once she sees further escalation in this war or words and warnings?...
MURDER HORNETS !!! That is all.